That ain't me, is it?
—Luke to Lorelai

Dead Uncles and Vegetables is the 17th episode of Season 2 of Gilmore Girls.


Luke (Scott Patterson) is overwhelmed with funeral arrangements for his Uncle Louie, who was Stars Hollow's most disliked citizen, so Lorelai (Lauren Graham) and Rory (Alexis Bledel) pitch in and work the counter at the diner, without much help from Jess (Milo Ventimiglia). Meanwhile, Emily's (Kelly Bishop) extravagant suggestions for Sookie's (Melissa McCarthy) upcoming wedding to Jackson (Jackson Douglas) cause everyone to freak out.


Emily – What do you think of the Romanovs?
Luke – They probably had it coming
Emily – A match made in heaven
Luke – Don't you have wakes for people you like.
Lorelai – I think it might be for you.
Luke – Am I dead?
Lorelai – Face it, Luke, people like you
Luke – Shut up
Lorelai – And with charm like that, how can they resist
Rory – So you did do a little something
Jess – I unlocked the door
Rory – So that people could come in here and put this together. Nice
Jess – Nice for them, not for me
Rory – You facilitated it, you made it happen, so I guess that means that you’re officially part of our town now
Jess – Hey, wait a minute –
Rory – Welcome
Jess – I am not part of this town
Rory – See you for some tree planting over at the Arbor Day Festival, buddy
Jess – Yeah, well maybe I can knock over a liquor store while everyone else is planting those stupid trees
Rory – As long as it’s a liquor store in town, neighbor


  • Luke's uncle, Louie Danes, was known around Stars Hollow as being quite a lively character.
  • Lorelai and Luke attend Louie's funeral, the only two people there aside from the minister.
  • The town gathers at Luke's for the wake, telling stories about Uncle Louie.
  • Lorelai gets into 'diner talk'.
  • A few more of the re-enactors are introduced: Sy and Burt.
  • Emily's dream wedding for Lorelai would be a winter wedding inspired by the Romanovs. Lorelai in a silver sleigh, white roses.
  • Rory and Jess have a very married couple vibe this episode.
  • Both the Stars Hollow and the former competitor to be town troubadour appear, the latter to sell fresh vegetables, much to Taylor's dismay.


wake me up before you go-go (cover) | GRANT LEE PHILLIPS







Lorelai(to Luke) But your re-enactment of Jerry Lewis and the Diner Guy is gonna wow the critics.
Lorelai – I'm Cathy Coffee, mister, the bastard offspring of Folger and Juan Valdez
Luke – Not everybody likes it that strong.
Lorelai – Well, then I shall convert them. I am the Jehovah's coffee girl
Rory – Just assume that Jeannie's gonna get Major Healey out of whatever scrap he's in.
Jackson – It's the Library of Alexandria. It's the Colossus of Rhodes. It's Pop Rocks
Lorelai – She's Patricia Hearst and my mother's the SLA.
Lorelai – We certainly are entertaining, Mac
Rory – Indubitably, Tosh.
Lorelai – Yeah, Taylor, this isn't Charlie Rose.
Taylor – You there! (points at town troubadour) When Lady Godiva here (points at other troubadour) wanted to be town troubadour over you, I stood by your side. Why aren't you backing me now?
Emily – What do you think of the Romanovs?
Luke – They probably had it coming.
Farmer's Market Guy(to Taylor, who is dressed in his Revolutionary War re-enactor's uniform) Cool threads. Very "one if by land"
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