I've always done what's asked of me
—Rory to Mitchum Huntzberger

Blame Booze and Melville is the 21st episode of Season 5 of Gilmore Girls.


RORY FACES THE REALITIES OF THE WORKING WORLD – Rory (Alexis Bledel) is surprised by the performance review she receives from Logan's (Matt Czuchry) father, Mitchum Huntzberger (guest star Gregg Henry), at the newspaper. Luke's (Scott Patterson) plan to buy the Twickham house is threatened when Kirk (Sean Gunn) makes a competing bid. Lorelai (Lauren Graham) is thrilled when the travel magazine featuring The Dragonfly Inn hits the stands, but worries about Emily's (Kelly Bishop) reaction to the article. Meanwhile, Sookie (Melissa McCarthy) goes into labor and Emily becomes a personal patron for a ballet dancer.


Rory – What about endowment boy?
Emily – The maybes
Rory – You go, grandma
The whole city is a decaying heap. It’s too many people crammed into too many buildings on too small a piece of land. It’s an experiment that’s failed. They should just give the whole island a push and float it over to Europe
—Luke writing a postcard from NYC
Emily – I wanted to stick the little twig in the garbage disposal. So I exchanged her for Mikhail
Lorelai – Really? You can do that, just trade her in for another human being?
Emily – I paid for her, Lorelai, and she wasn’t what I wanted.
—The world of dancer sponsorships


  • The town elders make their first and only appearance. They knew both Luke's father and paternal grandfather.
  • Rory accuses Logan of being interested in another woman.
  • Kirk has amassed just shy of $250,000 working a myriad of jobs in Stars Hollow.
  • Sookie gives birth to Martha Belleville.
  • Sookie sends Jackson off to have a vasectomy done. Though as revealed in To Whom It May Concern, he did not go through with it.


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  • Moby Dick


Lorelai – Imperialist propaganda.
Rory – I think Noam Chomsky would agree.
Luke – Do I look like eBay?
Logan – Eccentric uncle?
RoryBrian Eno
LoganJose Canseco, post-steroids. Should be a warning to people.
Lorelai – But after we see Spamalot, right? I paid a lot for those tickets.
Rory – You've been Anne Sexton since I pulled up.
KirkSally Forth is on fire today! On fire!
Kirk – Hey, that would be a good line for Dennis the Menace after he fails to mow Mr. Wilson's lawn. I should send that in.
Sookie – Right. Suddenly my midwife was Wolf Blitzer.
Sookie – I am, Penelope Cruz.
Lorelai – Oh, sure. She looks like Marlo Thomas.
Lorelai – Boy. Sword of Damocles is really hovering over you for a couple weeks there, huh?
Lorelai – Mom, it was meant as a joke! The Pol Pot, the walking anthrax. I was just being edgy like Chris Rock!
Emily – I did not force Jimmy Carter out of his room at that hotel.
Lorelai – See, now I thought that was just an amusing anecdote.
Emily – I did not get into a, quote, "bitch-fight" with him. He's an ex-president! It was with that insufferable Rosalynn.
Lorelai – See, I was mad at Mom – Mrs. Gilmore, here, at the time, and I ended up saying things I shouldn't have said, because, you see, normally, I don't make jokes about Joseph Stalin.
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